Summer Bible School in Buenos Aires. Kids are the same the world over, and a nice pose would kill them
Without trying to wax too metaphorical or profound let me point out that our lives, like a novel or a screen play unfold in chapters and scenes. Each new phase unfolds with a certain amount of uncertainty, and ends with an equal feeling of ambiguity. The new, the changing of focus in our lives, is always something that is unpredictable and unknown. But it is also the very thing that can bring new growth and deepened maturity if we allow it to.
I have written over the past several months about the changes that lie ahead for Theresa and me. In fact, Theresa is now in Manitoba, having left Texas to return to Canada at the end of June. As I had explained some months ago, our decision was that she would return alone in order to find work and begin to resettle while I continue to hold the job in Allen, Texas. At a later point I would then also return to Manitoba and find work and transition back into the Canadian scene as well. We reasoned that this would allow us to continue to have at least one income throughout while one of us would be looking for employment. For good or for bad we proceeded with this plan of action, perhaps not really understanding how long the intervening months would truly be. But sometimes life must be lived by the expedient, rather than by the nice and comfortable.
We have been truly blessed in that, even in the relatively rural area of Steinbach where we have our home, Theresa was able to find a good job fairly quickly. In a community where fulfilling jobs are not exactly falling from the trees God also graciously opened up a position for her where she can fit and find her wings, and where she can function within the many talents that she possesses. The big surprise also came when, even before she had finished her two week training period having been hired as a casual worker, she was unexpectedly offered a full time position, zooming ahead of others who had been there much longer than she. We see this as God’s hand of favor on her, and we are grateful for it.
My plans then solidified into working until the end of September, and then returning to Manitoba as well. Since most of our income over the past year plus was placed back into the work in Mexico, we felt that it would be good to have at least a couple of months of work in which my U.S. income could be placed into our personal bank account before I pulled the plug here in Texas. This seemed especially pertinent knowing that it might be some time before I was able to find employment again back in Canada when I did return. So things were slowly and tediously moving towards closure for me here in Texas with only the need to “hang in to the bitter end” with work, and of course, to sell our trailer and get our stuff up to Canada when I ended here.
Summer Bible School class in San Antonio Huichimal. This is the little village where Armando and Alicia minister
And then, at the risk of becoming overly melodramatic, with the turning of a page of the novel I was forcibly entered into a dark and unexpected valley. A little over two weeks ago, actually on Sunday evening, the 21st of August, I was driving a motorized bike that I had built, patrolling the grounds at the jobsite at which I am a security officer, when suddenly the bike went completely out of control, throwing me onto the pavement and entangling me in a twisted mangle of bent bicycle. It all occurred so fast that it is still difficult to know exactly what happened, except that I ended up smashing my right shoulder and right buttock onto the pavement from a speed of probably at least 15 miles per hours or so. I also hit my head in the fall, but only superficially. For what ever reason, the inner tube on the rear tire had burst while I was driving, leaving a half inch tear in it and instant deflation. I didn’t realize that the tire had gone flat while I was driving in a straight line; however, when I was negotiating a roundabout in the roadway the back wheel suddenly became absolutely unstable and I lost complete control of the bike.
I have much to be thankful for in that it was no worse than it was. Still, I have had some of the most excruciating pain over the past two weeks that I have ever experienced in my life. The trauma from the fall damaged my sciatic nerve causing pain that felt like a knife being driven into the middle of my right buttock and upper pelvis whenever I attempted to place even the slightest pressure onto my right leg or even to move it at all. The walk from the couch to the bathroom, all fifteen or so steps was unthinkable agony, and a journey that took teeth-gritting determination to maneuver. But, I was alone and with very few alternatives. Sometimes it isn’t so much the strength or determination of a person as much as pure and unadulterated lack of choice that drives one on, and I found myself in that position. There simply were not too many options that I could see other than to merely try to go on and get through this particular trial.
A camp at the Missionary Training Center. The dream is finally becoming a reality
Thankfully when I was sitting in my truck I could patrol the jobsite. This allowed me to continue to work without even missing a shift. True, getting down the steps and out of the trailer to the truck was enough to make me practically weep, and then getting my leg into the vehicle and shifting into a sitting position on the seat was excruciating agony, but when I was in I could drive the site. I hobbled with a cane (actually, still do), and took minutes at a time to be able to take each single step because placing any pressure whatsoever onto my right leg was as likely as not to give new meaning to the words of the song “You take my breath away” as the stab of the knife would literally immobilize me with pain. But desperation, not brawn, allowed me to get through.
I am grateful to say that finally this past Sunday night, exactly two weeks to the day after my accident, I am beginning to feel the start of healing taking place in my sciatic nerve. I still am not out of the woods by any means, and I am not exactly dancing a jig yet, but God has begun to answer the many, many prayers that I prayed over the past two weeks for his healing touch. I suspect that there will need to be some sort of corrective surgery done on my shoulder when I get back to Canada unless God miraculously works a healing on it, but that is something manageable. The pain of a damaged sciatic nerve is not.
The lush rain forest of Xilitla. This is only about an hour south of Cd. Valles but much moister with thick jungle growth
So, this whole experience over the past two weeks is what I was thinking about when I refer to a portion of the verse from the 23rd Psalm in the title of today’s blog. Although I certainly did not face the shadow of death; nonetheless, it was still a dark shadow for me to journey through.
I can sense that I am now in the beginning of mending. Still, when I am in pain I continue at times to ask God what he had in mind with the timing for this whole episode. I have so much to do in order to prepare the trailer for sale, pack up our vehicles to take north, and then to physically get everything back to Canada. Not to mention, it is pretty difficult to find employment when you are a virtual cripple. Also, we have a house to repair and move back into when I arrive in Manitoba – one that has been rented for the past seven years and has had minimal TLC, and now requires a lot of elbow grease and good old honest work to make ours again. Looming over my thoughts when I consider all of this is that I still consider it amazing if I can make a step and not to be in agony, and that my shoulder will most likely still need to have some kind of restorative surgery soon.
But in all of this God is still good. When I consider the tiny valley that I have walked though over the past couple of weeks, it is nothing when compared to what others are going through. When I stop feeling sorry for my little self and my slight miseries and actually take a look at the bigger picture again I see, first of all, God’s extreme faithfulness; and secondly that so many others are suffering so very much more. When I look at my brothers and sisters in the persecuted Church around the world who are paying with their very lives and not complaining, or the poor and down trodden around the world who are suffering while I live in such luxury in North America I am reminded of the title of the song that the music group The Eagles sing which becries our “Frail Grasp on the Big Picture” of life. I know that to be true in my own life. Too often I focus on the small and petty, and loose the grasp of God’s big picture.
In keeping with this sentiment then, let me stop focusing on myself and draw your attention rather to the ongoing work in Mexico. They are in their rainy season now which makes the work on the farm kick into a different stage since the fields themselves are inundated with water. But the ministry, both of the Bible Institute as well as the Missionary Training Center continues strong. Javier and the various teams continue to be almost unthinkably busy in the ministry of evangelism, church planting, village work, teaching and training, helps, feeding the poor, and much more. It is always a joy to speak with Javier and to receive reports of the work as it advances.
Thank you, as always, for your faithfulness and for being a part of the ongoing ministry. Thank you for keeping our brothers and sisters in Mexico close to your heart and in your prayers. Also, thank you for loving and caring for Theresa and me as we transition out of our direct involvement with the ministry in Mexico and reestablish ourselves back in Canada. And thank you for your prayers for my personal healing as I navigate these untested waters as well.
Your fellow laborers in the harvest,
Steven and Theresa
