Measuring the well depth
So how does one deal with disappointment and the feeling that God has let them down?
This morning at 39 meters (128 feet) on the well shaft we hit a clay-like substrate that the drilling crew said was non-water producing. Since it was likely that this layer was very thick, they suggested that there was no reason to go on.
Up to this point I still believed fully that God was going to break through with a miracle for us. With this new discovery I realized that I needed to give up, and give in – there was no miracle forthcoming after all.
I know that it is only water and a water well, but for me it was a matter of boldfaced faith
Actually we stopped at 128 feet
and my heart and reputation laid bare on the line, so to speak. For others the fervent cry may be more personal, and an issue of life and death – for example, in times of extreme sickness and prayer for healing. For some it may be a matter of extreme financial need that causes them to agonize in prayer for God’s mercy and gracious supply. And for others it may be prayers of anguish for their unsaved children. The causes for soul-baring faith and prayer are innumerable, but the feeling of desperation in God is similar to all, and the crushing disappointment that can follow if the prayers seem to go unanswered is also comparable across the board.
Whatever the reason for us to lay bare our hearts in raw faith, when God does not respond – when the heaven that is over your head seems as brass and the earth under you seems as iron (Deuteronomy 28:23), and it feels as if he does not hear, or has no desire to respond – then, at that point, we need to reassess the whole issue of faith and prayer.
I am in that place at the moment.
Theresa displaying her new curtains in the Casa del Obrero. Pray with us for a staff couple to live here and to begin mentoring missionary trainees
I fully, fully expected God to supply this need for the Ministry Center. I expected 100% to be able to report a miraculous provision of the blessing of overflowing water. I absolutely believed that I could take God at his word when he said that he would “pour out water to quench our thirst and to irrigate our parched fields” Isaiah 44:3(a). I expected a miracle of his abundant provision for the ministry and for the surrounding area.
I am now wondering where I went wrong. Did I not hear him right? Should I not have trusted in such simple faith? Was it not his will after all? Does he intend to provide in another form, or in another way? What was the purpose of this unfulfilled exercise of faith, if there was one? Etc., etc.
The well was not a complete bust. There is water, but very little. It will supply a household and can be collected for use in careful gardening, but it is not what we believed for, prayed for, hoped for, trusted for, or needed.
God, why?
“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!”Psalm 42:5
We wait on you Lord.
Blessings,
Steven
